


I Just Wanted You To Know Baby, You're The Best

by YellowRose97



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, a not really panic attack, an idiot and his bad decisions, if you squint there's fluff, little bit o' angst, no smut here hueue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 20:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6209911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowRose97/pseuds/YellowRose97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So here he is sweating his ass off in the Dallas heat (though if he’s being honest it’s not just the weather that's getting to him) at Jason’s welcome back let’s go kick ass this season backyard barbecue (exactly what it said in the mass invite text).</p>
<p>Tyler can go back to the exact moment he realized he was ass over heels in love with his best friend and line-mate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Wanted You To Know Baby, You're The Best

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PinkPineappleSunglasses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPineappleSunglasses/gifts).



> Fell asleep listening to summertime sadness and scrolling through the bennguinn tag on tumblr and this happened. (I promise you I have a life.) 
> 
> Title is from Lana Del Rey's Summertime Sadness.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. This is my first time posting a fic. enjoy:)
> 
> Last thing, this Tyler is very self-deprecating and as a result he plays off and belittles the importance of some mental health and anxiety issues he has (not a huge theme in the story itself but it's there in little details for the sake of expressing his personality). This does not reflect my stance on the matter.

There are two things Tyler is sure of in this moment: one, it’s hot as balls. Two, Jamie looks good. Really, really good.

Oh boy.

He spent his entire damn summer trying to avoid everything Jamie Benn which had seemed like a great idea at the time. In hindsight however, it was a pretty terrible idea. It was a terrible idea because after months of repression and self denial, seeing Jamie is like a shock to his system awakening feelings Tyler had been doing a great job kidding himself about.

So here he is sweating his ass off in the Dallas heat (though if he’s being honest it’s not just the weather that's getting to him) at Jason’s welcome back let’s go kick ass this season backyard barbecue (exactly what it said in the mass invite text).

Tyler can go back to the exact moment he realized he was ass over heels in love with his best friend and line-mate.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
He had gone over to Jamie's house, about mid last season, to hang out and shoot the shit on an off day, as he’d done numerous times before,but at that point Tyler had been steadfastly ignoring the little red warning bells that went off every time he found himself alone with Jamie. The ones that screamed no no no! Wrong! Turn back! You can't go there again!! But Tyler had always been stubborn and he’s the king of self destruction so he shoved them down into the box at the back of his mind where he keeps the shit show that was Browinie and everything else pre-Dallas (pre-Jamie)

He was feeling warm and content from the beers he drained while kicking Jamie’s ass at FIFA. Jamie’s Barca had just scored their third goal against Tyler’s Real Madrid (so maybe Jamie was kicking his ass, whatever Tyler wasn’t even mad.) and he was laughing, triumphant and unguarded. The words flew across Tyler's mind before he had time to tamp them down,

God he’s gorgeous. I could watch him like this forever.

All the air rushed from Tyler's lungs and he stood on shaky legs to excuse himself to the bathroom where he sat on the toilet with his head in his hands and promptly freaked out. By the time Jamie’s concerned voice filtered muffled through the door Tyler had gotten his breathing under control.

“Seggy, you okay in there? It’s been almost thirty minutes man.” 

Well shit.

“Uhh yeah, i’ll be right out” Tyler did a mental fist pump when his voice came out mostly steady.

He splashed water on his face to wash away the remaining nerves. He took one look at his reflection before deciding he would deal with his feelings like the responsible adult he so obviously was. 

He pushed them down to be dealt with later. 

He went back out to the living room with his smile turned on to the highest setting, challenged jamie at NHL14 and that had been that because Jamie’s the best and knew that if Tyler wanted to talk about whatever made him bolt to the bathroom like that he would have, so he didn’t push it (maybe he should have). 

After a few rounds Tyler’s smile started to feel real again. 

He could totally do this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tyler totally couldn’t do this.

Jamie’s pushing his way through the bodies in Jason’s back yard to get to him. He looks more than a little angry but his eyes are full of apprehension and sadness, probably from being ignored by his best friend all summer.

Tyler knows he’s fucked up and in more ways than one. It’s just that by the time last season ended (crashed and burned in Tyler's mind, but that’s a whole other story) his plan to ignore his feelings for Jamie had unsurprisingly gone haywire. 

He was just too gone for his captain, plain and simple.

The more he tried to push that fact away the louder it came back roaring with a fiery vengeance. A desperate creature lashing out refusing to be forgotten. He had felt more and more helpless as the season droned on and when Tyler’s feeling helpless his decision making skills tend to suffer.  
He had been so much better because Chubbs never let him get to that point but he wouldn’t go to Jamie about Jamie and so the downward spiral had begun.

He had tried to distance himself as best as he could. He was gonna go for subtle but Ty’s always sucked ass at subtlety so he did it Seggy style: poorly veiled and without proper thought.

He somehow managed to convince himself that Jamie wouldn’t care or notice that as soon as the season ended (and his excitement over Jamie winning the Art Ross became manageable) He got the hell out of dodge without so much as a see ya, and refused to answer any texts or phone calls from said Benn for the rest of the off season.

That’s some grade A denial from Tyler’s end if he does say so himself. (though the delusion started to wane pretty swiftly when Jordie fixed him with an icy glare as soon as he got to Jason's)

 

Since he has already passed the point of no return on the bad decision front, he made the executive decision to avoid Jamie as long as possible at this sad excuse for an authentic southern style barbecue (Daddy is wearing a cowboy hat, Tyler thinks that counts for something at least) and he’s been doing extremely well but alas, his luck has run out.

Jamie manages to make it through the throng of drunk and too-full hockey players before Tyler even has a chance to put his vodka soda down and run for it (an impressive feat if you ask him) and Tyler is screwed. He’s screwed because here Jamie stands in all his drop dead gorgeous tattooed glory with his tragic eyes (god those eyes that Tyler can’t stop thinking about like ever. Super inconvenient) and a stormy but determined look on his face.

The humidity in the air makes Jamie’s white t-shirt cling to his sun kissed skin in a way that is seriously fucking with Tyler’s already fragile mental state. He looks beautiful (the inside is just as beautiful if not more so than the outside and Tyler is all about that)

Tyler’s mouth has gone completely dry and he can’t speak past the lump in his throat (when did that get there?). Apparently when you let your shit pile up, instead of handling it like a well put together human being, it eventually overflows. Everything he’s been pushing down, all the bad decisions and the lies, and the repressed feelings have come bubbling up to the surface with Jamie standing right here in the flesh.

Undeniable. Unavoidable.

Tyler feels like he’s going to implode or burst and if Jamie confronts him out here he might just die.

Jamie must read that in Tyler's face because his expression softens to something a lot less murderous and he clips out a “come on” before he turns tail toward the house as if Tyler has no choice but to follow him. (he’d be lying to himself if he said he did and he’s done enough of that as it is.)

By the time they make it upstairs, Tyler is filled to the brim with nerves and feels like he can’t get enough air but Jamie’s anger has deflated and he just looks tired and a little morose. Tyler is picking at the leather of Jason’s ugly sofa and stubbornly avoiding eye contact when Jamie speaks to him for the second time tonight.

“What the hell seggy?” It’s only a little bit pleading.

When Ty finally looks Jamie in the eyes it’s almost too much. He contemplates saying fuck it and fleeing the premises but he’s already taken the coward's way out and beyond. He’s been a complete and utter ass. Jamie doesn’t deserve that.

He’s been nothing short of amazing to Ty, on the ice and off the ice. Tyler can suck it up and be honest here (finally). Despite feeling like his heart is going to claw it’s way out of his chest and run away laughing at him, he’s always felt safe with Jamie (all that avoidance crap was purely his own stupid insecurity)

It’s why he fell in love with him. Which shit, where does he even start.

He’s been on a permanent freak out since that day at Jamie's (no matter how much he told himself otherwise) and now that the dust has settled he feels like a complete idiot. A child. Someone definitely not worthy of Jamie Benn and it’s getting hot in here and who’s making those weird choking noises-

“Hey, hey breath Tyler. It’s okay.” Jamie has a steadying hand on Tyler's back and god he needs to get a grip.

He can’t have a panic attack in Jamie’s lap on top of all the other dumb ass shit he’s pulled these past months. Tyler swallows two, three times.

“I’m sorry.” A pathetic start but he is, so damn sorry. “I’m sorry for the radio silence a-and the shit at the end of the season I know I fucked up I just f-freaked ‘cuz I know how this goes i’ve been down this road and I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand a-and I ha-” Tyler’s voice has gone shaky and he’s talking fast with barely any breaks between words when Jamie interrupts him.

“whoa slow down segs you need to breathe okay? And you're not making much sense. I don’t understand, what got out of hand, what road?”

Jamie’s big eyes are full of concern and a little bit of guilt( maybe for not saying something earlier?) for his friend who was obviously struggling with something and had been for quite a while. Tyler can tell that much, and he feels like a piece of shit.

This isn’t Brownie. This is Jamie. Sweet Jamie who has never judged Tyler poorly for the things he’s done, who has believed in Tyler from day one and never let him do anything but his best (when Tyler's not being a total brat). Even if Jamie wasn’t happy about what Tyler was about to tell him he wouldn’t be cruel about it and he wouldn’t let it ruin them.

Tyler is such a dumb ass sometimes.

He’s breathing much easier and he steels himself to give Jamie the heavy explanation he owes. He can’t bring himself to look at Jamie so he stares at his clasped hands and tries his best to get through this, only chickening out a few times(give a guy a break).

“Do you remember the day I locked myself in the bathroom at your house?” Tyler waits for Jamie’s affirmative “mhm” before he continues.

“Well that was the day I realmmm-” Tyler tapers off into an unintelligible murmur.

“What?” Jamie asks.

“Um, I realized thatmm-” Ty mumbles, still looking at his hands

“Tyler I can’t hear what you’re saying!” Jamie drawls out in frustration.

“Isaidthatwasthedayirealizedi’minlovewithyou!” Tyler let’s it all out in one go before his courage goes completely out the window (along with his dignity though you could argue that was compromised a long time ago). “I’m in love with you” he says again.

He has to look at Jamie then, to see his reaction.

Jamie’s eyes are wide as saucers and his jaw is hanging open, a look of disbelief painting his features. Tyler hurries to continue so he doesn’t have hear what Jamie’s going to say just yet.

“I really tried to fix it but it just got so out of hand and admittedly I handled it all in a really shitty way, I know that but I Just couldn't face it. I panicked. I’ve been there before and it ended really bad and you’re just so damn great. I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. I know i’m a jerk for not being honest and coming to you like a best friend is supposed to but I was just scared I wouldn’t be able to have you in my life because I love it here and I love playing with you and you make me better. I-I swear I can tamp it down now. It won't be weird. Things can go back to how they were before” 

Tyler takes a huge breath when he’s finished and he’s back to looking at his hands.

“I don’t want things how they were before.” Jamie says. The words sting and Tyler snaps his head up at them.

“Jamie please, I promi-” He stops his sentence short when he sees the look on Jamie’s face. He doesn’t look upset or angry or disgusted. He tries to pick out the emotions he can see in Jamie’s expression.Tyler’s a little shocked to find happiness, relief, and a bit of fond exasperation he thinks.

Tyler lets himself feel a tiny bit of hope.

“I don’t want things how they were before because I want to be with you. I love you too Ty. I’m in love with you.”

Which what? Tyler is sure his heart has stopped. He has passed out, he has to be dreaming.

He gets out an eloquent “huh?” Jamie giggles and the sound kicks Ty’s brain back into gear.  
“Jamie are you?-what-you-ja-huh?” Okay so maybe not completely into gear. Because Jamie is still the best, he understands just what Ty means.

“Yes I mean it. You could have saved yourself a lot of sanity and ridiculous decisions if you would have just come and talked to me sweetheart, which is what we’re both gonna do from now on yeah?” Tyler is sure he’s died and gone to whatever heaven this place is. He stares dumbly at the youngest Benn. Jamie gives up on talking reason to Tyler and decides to just show him (Tyler wants to know what he really expected because come on there’s a receipt a mile long of Tyler’s faulty reasoning skills)and-

Holy shit. He’s being kissed by Jamie Benn, his best friend, linney, and love of his fucking life.

It’s the best thing ever and he can’t get enough. Jamie’s big hands are warm and steady where they’re cupping his face, a contrast to Tyler’s cold shaky ones clutching at Jamie's shirt for dear life, and his lips are soft and wet against Tyler’s own. He tastes like chocolate strawberries and he smells so good. Jamie pulls back with one final and sure kiss

“You Idiot” he says but it’s colored as an endearment and Tyler thinks it’s pretty fair. After a few (a lot) more kisses and promises to communicate like a boss, Jamie leads them out back to sweat their asses off and bring in the new season with Sharpy and Eaks wailing out some country tune on the karaoke machine, more vodka sodas, grilled sausage, and their boys.

There are two things Tyler is sure of in this moment: one, it’s hot as balls. Two, Jamie looks good. Really, really good.

Hell Yeah.

~La Fin~


End file.
